Growth can Start with Shame

cliftshotI’ve noticed that every time I take a new or risky step, the first thing that I experience is discomfort.

Later it coagulates as Shame.

 

So, if, say… I’m going to take on something now, or write about something close to my heart that, haven’t shared before, or extend myself in a way that feels out of my expertise or depth… I’ll feel weirdly yucky and vulnerable, and than shameful.

I’ll think, “No one will care about this, don’t be a fool.”

or I’ll think, “You will be mocked. Don’t do step out on this.”

or I’ll think, “How can I do this so it doesn’t feel so risky?”

Just beyond those moments are moments of greatest growth and authenticity.

Defining moments.

Fear is wrestled and vanquished.

We stand on the precipice sometimes not knowing which way to go…onward or backward.

If it’s starting to scare the stink out of you, you’re doing it right. You’re pointed in the proper direction.

If you feel like running, hiding, or chickening out, then, good: you’re about to grow.

Keep going.

Do the thing you feel most vulnerable doing that you’ve been hoping for down deep: It’s the idea you just can’t shake but it scares you silly.

Lent is a great time to wrestle with all this stuff and the Resurrection celebration later becomes that more precious.

Here is a Scripture meditation for you today:

Psalm 95

on “Perfect Love”

iamlovedI’m highlighting the most powerful verses for me today, from I John, chapter 4.

…My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love…

My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

 …

…There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

 

Read the whole chapter here. (various translations can be selected)

 

I’m wondering if we are getting this.

I’m wondering if I am.

It’s simple stuff, really. It’s the simple stuff that can trip us up best, I suppose.

If God and love are inseparable why do we pollute that with other ideas that make us unloving?

I write this during Lent and I am awaken to the sense that I should repent. (turn around or change direction)

This repenting stuff has to happen all the time if we are going to be more like God and more like love.

We get it wrong.

Just like getting off on the wrong highway exit. As soon as we realize it, we have to change direction.

We want to.

What better way to know you are on the right track than to see if fear is signaling you otherwise?

Off track, love is imperfect. Imperfect: meaning incomplete or malformed. And with incompleteness comes fear.

How liberating then is love.

How lovely.

5 Tips for Writers & Creators in 2014 (Infographic)

Valuable Content!

I’m making it my 2014 goal to give my writer and creator friends a lot of valuable content this year to help you get your message out, potently, all year long.

 

This will be a big year for you. You don’t just have to waste hours on Facebook, playing your phone Apps, or punching out blog posts 47 people read. You can offer related products and services based on your strong suits and build momentum.

If you’d like to gain a bit more recognition or make money on the side,  I’ll give you a bunch of ways and ideas for doing that…and no, the point isn’t to somehow get you to buy something from me. I may offer some useful, related things to purchase, but most everything will be free.

 

More importantly, I’ll help you with the marketing and web optimization side of things, so you don’t have to spend hours researching it for yourself. That’s like having two jobs.

 

I was reading Preston Yancey’s blog post the other day where he laments, perhaps even sincerely,

I #don’t hashtag because #ithinkitmakesmelooklikeanidiot and I don’t #knowhowtodoit #right.

Maybe he shouldn’t have to worry about all that. It got me thinking that some people are in the boat right with him…and Jesus,  Buddha, and baked goods.

If this is you…breathe in deeply and calmly. Slowly sip your coffee and relax. It will be okay.

 

You might not know all the big changes. For instance, did you know that Google has changed its main algorithm again? It affect searches. . .a lot. It’s had ripples…like layoffs. Some companies died because of it.

Getting noticed is harder than ever, if you care about that.

And unless you have a hefty following already, then, it matters.

(Rest assured, Preston does have a big following or Zondervan wouldn’t hand him two book deals. They aren’t people of faith precisely. They make take some shanks, but they don’t gamble. They are people who have a business to write about faith in a way that will sell, so they can have bread on their tables…in the wilderness, or, and more likely, in the classy subdivisions of city suburb in the Midwest.) You probably aren’t in Preston’s league.

If you want to just write for fun and the few friends that you attract from Facebook when FB feels like allowing your stuff in the news feed now, that’s cool. But maybe you’re hoping that doing something you love, like writing or creating, can also help you pay the internet bill a bit more, or even get you more exciting opportunities. That’s what worked for me. I write for other people more than ever at this point; and it’s fun to get paid for it. Really. It is.

You’ll find more of that sort of help here in 2014 in addition to other more familiar things you read here when I wax of the unseen and lasting things and get to use this space to explore, in both writing and deeper thoughts.

But, this is the announcement that I’m ready to help and share the info I’ve researched and the work I do in the MARCOM world.

 

To get us kicked off, these are the 5 Best Tips for starting your year off right. These trends are important to consider as you work and create in a noisy world.

Considering writing a blog post about the challenges of changing technology. What might you do or not do about it this year. I’ve made this infographic easy to embed to help you get started, if you want it.

 

Tips-for-Writer-&-Creators

Did that help you? I hope so!

Do you have writer or creator friends, too?
You can share the knowledge. Go ahead and embed this right on your site, if you’d like.

See you soon.xo

(connect with me or sign up for updates in the sidebar)

It’s time for Weird Santa

I had a viral post last week and that was fun! Check it out.

I don’t watch my stats much. It gives me a brain bug. But a few times per week, sometimes, I take a peek and it was cool to see the huge spike upward. Stats used to get me on a roller coaster of moodiness. No more.

A special thank you to Ray Hollenbach and David Fitch who shoved the Myth of Ordinary Time post lovingly into the Twitterverse and also to everyone else who liked it on Facebook and read it and shared it. Was that you? Thank you!

Want a little holiday humor?

Search this site for Weird Santa Photos. 

There’s a trove you’ll love.

(caution: Santa appears to be Caucasian in these photos.)

Here’s one to get you started:

santastress

 

Bounce…Bounce… “OINK” [State of the Blogosphere]

OINK! OINK!

LEOL30 via Compfight

 

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

Matthew 7:6 from Jesus‘s Sermon on the Mount.

Today, the people who haunt the blogs and freely spew their criticisms are known as trolls and I think there is a spot on parallel with that phenomenon and the point of this scriptural adage.

Here’s how the urban dictionary puts it:

troll
One who purposely and deliberately (that purpose usually being self-amusement) starts an argument in a manner which attacks others on a forum without in any way listening to the arguments proposed by his or her peers. He will spark of such an argument via the use of ad hominem attacks (i.e. ‘you’re nothing but a fanboy’ is a popular phrase) with no substance or relevence to back them up as well as straw man arguments, which he uses to simply avoid addressing the essence of the issue.

 

Not too many people troll around at this blog and make a mess. But once in a while. It’s not too often that I pontificate on a controversial topic. However, many do. I was at a blog recently where there were a few trolls about and the topic was a disputed sort. Antagonistic little buggers, cloaked (quite conveniently!) in anonymity were pig piling, gorging themselves on accusations and generally being unpleasant and ill-reasoned. (Note that Trolls tote suitcases! They are filled with lots of emotional contents. Baggage. The more baggage there is the more the trollish nature flares up.)

 

So, it reminded me of the deeper phenomenon, shown in the “pearls and swine” reference.

 

Rather than readers contemplating or valuing the expertise in any way, I heard the sounds, “Bounce, bounce, “oink!”

 

So why is that? And why pigs and dogs?
In the Middle East in Jesus’ time, dogs were rarely lovable pets (except maybe to a few the royal class who had time to breed and train them to be lap dogs or sporting dogs that were kept outside and used for hunting). They were not as we tame to be and treat them today. At best they guarded the property, lived on scraps and barked at strangers. Most had bad habits, went scrounging around like tenacious vultures with paws, and would ingest anything, like dead and rotting carrion. Frequently they’d get sick on the stuff and vomit. Then they would eat that too. Yuck.
They were cited in Biblical times as a cautionary tail…er…tale.
Proverbs 26:11
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
Pigs fit in the same category. Most people assume that the ancient world couldn’t prepare a delicious and diesease-free pork entrée. Not so. In ancient Summer, pigs were eaten frequently (like me, they adored bacon perhaps). But, in Egypt swine were considered gross and vile. This sentiment seemed to filter into the Levitical laws for the Hebrews who would have been exposed to that cultural norm and largely imitated those dietary preferences. That meant Pigs=yuck. Dogs too.

 

Even now, dogs and swine both are in the habit of eating most anything and undervaluing certain precious things, jewelry from instance. They will even eat their own excrement, so I’m told. Omnivores indeed! I can vouch for the the fact on dogs, but I have little experience with pigs. Nevertheless, both have undiscriminating tastes, or they have discriminating tastes that are arbitrary and illogical. They also write the worst restaurant reviews.

 

If a hungry dog or pig, especially if it is untamed, from the wild, and thinks you have food, it will take you out and gobble it up and maybe a few of your fingers too. (I saw Bear Grylls wrestle a Razor Back once.) Best not to bring true valuables to the barnyard or wilderness.

 

This leaves us with a problem as writers or even as blog comment-writers. Do we bother writing for the public with so many pigs about? With so many unappreciative trollers who are ready to eat us alive, we often end up writing for the folks who won’t value it. I can see why writers close down their comments sections. Pigs and trolls and dogs appear to have a lot of time on their idle hands!

 

But finding the right audience is hard, even among our friendships.
A friend of mine said something like, “When I write I think about what you’ll think; and if you’ll think it’s good or not. I don’t like the idea of you not liking it.”  I told her, “Well, if I don’t like it, then it wasn’t written for me–it was written for someone else, and that’s fine.”

 

We aren’t writing for everyone. We are writing for the people who are ready and able to hear us, best.

 

If pigs or dogs eat your pearls, remember that the jewelry was never for them anyway. They trampled you down because they don’t know any better and they couldn’t comprehend the value you offered. Hold the hope that you will find those who see your pearls for what they are: valuable.

 

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