service Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Lisa Colón DeLay

Finding Your Purpose: The WISP method (STEP III: “S”)

So, I’ve surprised you with 2 untypical ways to find purpose in your life.

Here (Step 1) and Here (Step 2)

Hopefully, by now you’ve done homework and feel like you are progressing in new ways.

(I’d love to hear about it! Send me a note.)

Now we are on STEP 3

“S”

Service

This one may make little sense to you.

You may think,

“Really? That sounds backwards. I don’t know my purpose yet. I’ll try service once I get that figured out, duh.”

It’s not as backwards as you think.

What will appeal to us in terms of service is often closely tied to our talents, gifts, and greater purpose.

Here’s an example:

When my kids were very little I made a point of helping my friends prepare for a big, yearly program. Instead of being fulfilling, it was frustrating and felt futile. I realized that my skills and passions were better served elsewhere. This eventually lead to many other types of service that tapped into my greater purpose and held greater meaning for me.

In the beginning, what drew me to help out was a sense of friendship, community, and desire to love and minister to others–to be part of something greater than myself. Those were all things I kept seeking. What I left behind were projects that could miss the forrest for the trees. The experience helped me know when projects were too detail-oriented to be optimally useful in a greater way, for my preferences.

Would I have been able to narrow things down for myself without making this (seeming) mistake? No. And it wasn’t a mistake to help, it was a clarifying exercise.

Would I have been able to decipher what types of service aren’t a good fit for me without this experience? Unlikely.

In serving, something else happens. It’s big and you’ll see the pattern once I mention it:

In losing ourselves we are found.

That means by taking ourselves out of the middle, we can see and choose better and more easily.

(It doesn’t mean thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less–by design. Thus, we more expertly “stumble” on to bigger insights.)

In a way, you don’t find your purpose at all, it finds you.

From my perspective, finding God works the same way. You are only lost to yourself, not to God. So you don’t so much “find him” nor does he “find” you. Instead you wake up.

The same holds true for finding your purpose.

We tend to assume, just by default, that finding our purpose must start and end with us. Not so.

Just like Worship, service makes finding your purpose far easier because it becomes a revelatory process. Finding your purpose, like finding happiness, comes as a byproduct of doing other things.

So where can you start with meaningful service that will help you find your purpose?

Here are some categories and qualifiers to explore:

If one stands out as more meaningful, or ignites your passions (which is directly connected to your purpose), try that first. Check with your church, your community, your local schools and organizations, local charities, or just asking around to see what available or sounds like a good fit.

What ever it is, do something. The key on this step in ACTION followed by reflection.

If you are already serving, reevaluate it. It is leading you to a greater purpose or holding you back?

(If you are overly involved in service, then it’s time to scale back.)

HOMEWORK – take some field notes on the following questions:

• Do you like Creating? (What do you like and how do you like to do it?)

• Do you like helping and being useful? In what ways?

•Using your body more than your mind to help out?

Using your mind to help more than your body?
(At the end of the day, which feels more satisfying and why?)

• Do you like being the glue that holds people and projects together?

• Does helping behind the scenes feel meaningful?

• Do you like detail-oriented projects…

Being the visionary that comes up with and starts the project?

• Do you like teaching? (If so, what about it appeals to you?)

• Do people in need ignite your passions?

What about your past service appealed to you and why?

(If you don’t have much past service to serve as a gauge, that’s your biggest obstacle. Start right away. You are much too “in the middle” of your world and you need a break from yourself.)

[You guesses it! This is handy-dandy notebook time! Write out your field notes from the questions above.]

Also consider:
What specific population do you feel drawn to serve?

(It’s okay to specialize and then turn away things that fall outside your scope. This refinement is usually helpful. However, once in a while change it up and serve outside your specific domain–it will surprise you by opening new doors or clarifying your purpose further.)

Types of Populations:
• elderly

• children

• poor

• students

• the needy

• peers

• 20-somethings

• new parents

• the forgotten populations (immigrants, incarcerated, homeless, mentally ill, etc.)

• who else?…

Assess how your TALENTS and SKILLS play into your past service decision.

• What sort of technological knowledge, special skill, unique experience, or centering insight makes certain kinds of service easier?

• What is your “backstory”? Your backstory tends to shift you toward you purpose.

The next step is “P”…come back soon.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling finding purpose, or feels “off-track”? Pass this along!

The “Praying for Enemies” Misconception

Remember the Sermon on the Mount?

It’s the 4 chapters ( Click to read Matthew Chapters 4-7 ) where Jesus lays out this upside down, counter-intuitive foundation for the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. He shows how God’s ways don’t look like our ways. It’s a recapitulation of the law of Moses that was warped by God’s people over time and needed to be righted.

Disciples of Christ try to get this passage into their DNA and live it out. While many claim to be Christians few really follow or even grasp the framework Jesus lays out for the Kingdom. Maybe it’s too challenging.

In Matthew 5 Jesus covers the very unpopular idea of not hating our enemies.

• We like to side with people we agree with.

• We like to make sure people know where we stand and what we oppose.

• We love our own

(Much like today, the prevailing thought at the time was that your kin, tribe, or people group are your neighbors and you should love them. Everyone else? They could be treated like enemies. Jesus stresses that our enemies are our neighbors too and later he uses the parable of the Good Samaritan to make his point about what love and following God really looks like.)

But, back to hating our enemies…

(quote blocks cover Mathew 5:43-48)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighborⁱ and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.

Loving our enemies means blessing them. Blessing our enemies means we enrich their lives.

But, what about the prayer part?

There’s a common misunderstanding that this verse implies that we should pray for blessing for our enemies, or pray that good things happen to our enemies, or perhaps the most common…we should pray that they will change.

(That’s one I’ve done quite a bit!)

Jesus’ point is different.

He’s not suggesting that we pray for circumstances to change or for our enemy to change, but that’s just what we do, isn’t it?

No. The point is that our enemies and the persecution works to change us into children of God, when we do as Jesus would do.

What praying “for them” means is that we are praying for them to be our teachers. We are praying for us. The trying experience shows us the potential to take on the nature of God. A nature that is so radically different than ours.

God’s ways are the ways of love.

• What does that mean?

It becomes more obvious as Jesus continues the thought and tells us something about God and his character.

How good is God? Thoroughly. Or we could say “perfectly good”.

In fact, he is so unsparingly generous in his goodness that…

He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Huh? That seems odd. He does good to bad people. . .

We think of justice as righting wrongs usually by giving someone a form of evil or payback for their evil, and rewarding good with more good. We like liking those who like us and we like punishing or casting out those we don’t like.

For instance, in two minutes on Facebook and you’ll see demarcation lines drawn. Outsiders and insiders. Good and bad. Idiots and smart.

We assume that praying for them (to change) is the godly option …

(because we are actually tempted to do something really nasty and let them have it…but, gosh, we are holding our selves back, you know, because of trying to be godly and such).

The godly thing to do is to think and act through the framework of love as our heavenly Father would.

This has nothing to do with feeling warm fuzzies or giving out hugs. It’s about fundamental fairness, as God defines it.

It’s about a shift is perspective.

Jesus tackles that next:

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?

So what should we do instead? Jesus says…

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

**Don’t trip over the perfection part.**

The point of the statement is to show how God is thoroughly good and also quite different in his ways than you and me. Be like God.

Being like the good Father from heaven is the true aim. This portion of Matthew 5 isn’t truly centered on what to do about our enemies. Weird, right?

It’s about transforming our thinking and our ways into Kingdom ways.

(That’s what all of the Sermon on the Mount to geared toward.)

The more good and loving we are, (even to those who are unlike us, or who hate and mistreat us), the more we are like children of God and children of his kingdom (dominion).

The contention Jesus makes is that God doesn’t play favorites.

Most people don’t like this part and don’t truly go along with it. We do gymnastics to find some useable loopholes or other verses to avoid the this part, because we define ourself by who our favorites are.

Why doesn’t God play favorites?

Because he really loves us. It is the very nature of God, as defined and modeled by Jesus.

Evil is redeemed through generosity, forgiveness, and love.

Sounds crazy, of course, but we see this happen all the time.

• Remember the story of Officer Jeremy Henwood who bought a child a happy meal just a few minutes before he was violently gunned down in a random attack (and his good deed was caught on video)?

• Or the woman from Rwanda who’s only son was violently murdered. She not only visited the young man who killed him and visited him in prison, but later adopted him and became his mother when he had no place to go.

This stories make us want to be better people through just hearing the story!

• Think of Jesus dying for his enemies.

• Think about how true forgiveness makes things new.

Because we let the person off?

No.

It’s because we have transformed.

We stopped letting the offense trap and define us.

The next time you think about “praying for your enemies” remember:

• You are praying for you.

• You are praying for your mindset to change about what is happening.

• You are practicing being a child of God.

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“Survey says!” (7 second Survey results of 2014)

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A few weeks ago I created this The 7 Second Survey to see who was reading this blog and what you like best.

FINDING #1

I was going to post much more heavily on the thing that brings in the $ in my “day job” this year. I was hoping to get more work and inspire other creators and writers like me.

That’s right, Marketing Communications tips and tactics. But, it appears my reader base is mostly the original one from my first blogging efforts in 2007. Overwhelmingly so.

That’s probably good news, and honestly, it surprised me.

So, I will not discard the topics and theme that started it all!

Once per week, at the very least, I will hit on a spiritual topic. It may be anything from a Christian spiritual practice, to theology, to Christian living, or personal and spiritual transformation and improvement. If that’s how you found me, and that’s why you visit, I’m glad I know better now!

Also, I will be a bit more aware of including my brand of humor, which as you may know, I have determined as “damp”. (i.e. Almost dry humor)

(Please note that unlike many “Christian author” websites, I will very rarely step into the fray of controversy so commonly seen on religious blogs. I just don’t have the stomach for it anymore…for a while now, really. I find it 95% shallow and disheartening. If you like that stuff, you have plenty of options, though, and I hope you find what you like for that.)

Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 1.50.09 PM

FINDING # 2

Another thing I learned is that I don’t have too many folks who come by to read more than once per week, even though I post 2-3 times per week. Now, I’m wondering if I’m writing too much. Maybe. Or maybe you should come back more often!

I’m guessing that there are two possible solutions, or three, to cope with that:

1. I can encourage you, my dear readers, to list the blogs you read through the super handy free reader service called Feedly which houses posts you haven’t read yet. It works like a catalogue of awesomeness. No more bookmarks and time-killing web surfing. You just paste in the websites you like, and boom, they’re all in one place. The best part, no more relying on your memory to visit a few times a week. What a relief! (Can you tell I use it?)

2. I can encourage you to get email delivery through free Feedburner service (top right sidebar)…for no more silly and random blog searches and relying on your memory.

3. Don’t sweat it.

(I’m doing all three.)

FINDING #3

The third question was open ended…”fill in the blank style”. About half of the respondents left something to answer the question:

“What would you improve at the website?”

The funniest one (or whatever) was…

“Use spellchecker.”

As if I don’t.

…Yes. This site is full of mistakes. Typos. Proofreading issues. Editing errors. Etc. I try to hunt them down. I find plenty too late and some not at all.

If you see a problem that bothers you or you’d like to help me out, please use the contact button and let me know. I do like the help. :)

Also, I’m flawed and weak human–awash in imperfections. I’m more creative than I am a good speller or editor of my own work. If I ever have the money, I may hire someone for that. But, I’m doing #3 on this. (The “Don’t sweat it” option.)

In truth, I use this site as a sandbox. I build stuff. I sculpt the messy sand of words. I don’t worry too much. I would be creating posts even if no one came to read them. I cannot help it. At all.

It’s like this:

Sometimes you’ll find a few lincoln logs from the cat of imperfection here in my sandbox, as it were,

but hopefully more often you’ll find that what you’re reading is still worth it despite the shortcomings.

Anyway–
Thank you for reading and journeying with me through these years. I appreciate it immensely.

More great things are brewing!

The next post is here. It’s about the day I turn 42. The photo will give you a chuckle!

-Lisa

Supercharge Your Message with these 3 Secret Powers

Robert was a guy who wanted something. You could tell.

He wanted what a lot of people want. He wanted his idea out there. He wanted to get noticed and get recognized and make a better living. As an accomplished amateur guitarist he loved music and created a service focused at musicians. But, he couldn’t seem to get much traction.

After looking at his business and his marketing efforts I noticed something.
It was just below the surface but it tainted just about every Robert did.

Stinginess.

I didn’t come right out and tell him this, “Hey, friend, you’re stingy. People hate that. It’s like client repellant.” But, I did ask him a few questions and he stumbled onto the conclusion himself.

They were these 2 transformative questions:

1. What are your doing out of pure kindness to your target group?
(What are doing to simply serve this group, without hoping for or gunning for something in return?)

2. Are you empathizing fully with your group and their needs?
( What are their biggest needs and how does that make you want to respond? What will you do about it?)

A big shift happened. A light in a dark room moment.
(That’s what I LOVE about good questions. They shift things.)

It was like a wall broke down for him. He started thinking. Really thinking. Then he starting looking through a new window (perspective & worldview). New options and possibilities came into view. Discouragement vanished.

Instead of being centered on scarcity and never having enough (money, clients, opportunities, options), Robert started remembering how much good he could do.

Doing good felt good. Soon, it actually made him a better person for it. This new spirit didn’t extend to just clients, but his friends and family benefitted as well.

The new generosity of spirit made all the difference.

His empathy supercharged his efforts.

His message got out better this way.

Here’s what happened:
He started offering some of his services for free, no strings attached. This was valuable. Several musicians caught on and passed along his information. One of those leads provided consistent income almost right away. Then he reached out to a few local non profit groups and gave them some great work for free. They gave him some positive public testimonials and a few direct referrals. (He wasn’t helping them so they could help him in return, but after he gave of himself so generously, they wanted to help him out.)

His old message came off like this: “I have something and you need it. You should want this.”

Result? Dead ends and closed spirits.

His new message consisted of actions that worked like a megaphone. They said, “I’ll come along side you. Everything will be fine. I got this. No worries.”

People started searching him out. He didn’t have to work as hard to be noticed because his actions were secret super powers.

• Empathy

• Kindness

• Generosity

It drew plenty of attention. The right kind of attention. People were happy to pay him because they saw more value in his service. The stingy people that didn’t want to fork over any money for the value he brought them faded into the background. The more he invested and gave to the 80-90% of the folks that valued him, the better things got.

CONCLUSION:

Remember your Secret Super Powers.

If you’ve hit a wall with a project there’s a simple fix: If promotion, marketing, exposure, or getting your message out has stalled in any way, revisit your levels of 1. empathy, 2. no-strings-attached-kindness, and 3. generosity.

Reinstitute a lot of that back into your efforts, let go of the wheel, and see what happens. These secret super powers only work best if you put your true heart into it and live it out fully.

They are fertile things that birth the same spirit and goodness back to you.

Now some questions for you…

What message are you trying to get out right now?

(A project, a book, an album, a class, a service, a product, etc.)

What’s a way you can be more empathic and generous?
(In that spirit, let this be your first bit of exposure. You can share that here, if you’d like.)

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Thanks for visiting and thanks for being awesome.

-L

5 Questions you have to answer before you can be a success.

Cory Brown via Compfight

It’s crazy!

4 times this week I’ve been approached for my brain!

I’ve heard things like, “You’ve done a great job strategizing and promoting so-in-so, and I don’t know what I’m doing. I’d like to ________ (be a published author, sell my ebook, get speaking gigs, create a following, etc.)”

So I thought maybe instead of giving the info out time and again I could create a post with strategy tips to get you started if you fall into that category, too.

If you’re a musician, expert, artist, writer, speaker or whatever…it’s harder than ever to get noticed and build a following of those who will want what you have to offer.

It’s the problem of TOO MANY OPTIONS. (It’s paralyzing)

Most publishers, for instance, won’t even look at your stuff without an agent. They have cut their staffs and gone with sure-bets, like celebrities who hire ghostwriters. (I’m contractually obligated to avoid specifics on that bit.) But, you know what ? Agents want sure-bets too. You’re stuck researching and writing endless proposals to prove you are a good bet that just get rejected after all the hard work most of the time.

It’s even worse if you don’t know your way around a blog, promotion, social media, or ways to integrate what you are doing with the right people. You get stalled!

In the end, making something great is only half the battle.

You have to execute. As Seth Godin says, “You have to ship.”

I’ve found that great “crafts-people” (think good at a certain field: experts, academics, talented artists, experts, artisan, inventors, writers, signers, etc) often lack in the area of marketing themselves well and creating connections that pay off. They do something great, but don’t have the lateral thinking prowess outside their niche to know how to get it sold or stake their claim in their field.

As one person put it, “I’m an academic. I stay in my study and write and hope someone magically wants to read it.”

Well, that won’t work, of course. Others have to know about you to realize that you are amazing.

It’s hard to be good at both craft and marketing / connecting, but those are the people who really make it. Or the people who make it know how to delegate properly for what they aren’t expert in. That’s a KEY point. (Keep that nugget. it’s free.) :) You just can’t do it all.

Here’s the hopeful part!

Even if your aren’t a celebrity or infamous or have someone huge to vouch for you to land a deal, there is a lot you can do to generate buzz, especial if you can mobilize your fans/audience that already trust you. It the wilderness route, but with a little bit of $ and lots of hard work (a.k.a. “bootstrapping”) it can make a dent.

Through bootstrapping and almost no money I get 100,000 visitors. That’s nice and all, but it’s not as fun as helping others realize their goals and dreams.

So, I want to help. This below is some of what I’ve been telling other people as they get started.

Get a piece of paper! (seriously)

If you have something you want to share and make a name for yourself, or you want to start getting compensated for your goods, services, or talents be prepared to answer these questions specifically:

(yes, on paper or in a digital document, right now)

1. Who is your audience and how many people would buy the book (or service or product) from you *right now*?

2. What is your budget for marketing and promotion? (This of course will determine how much can be done.) You shouldn’t go forward if you can’t spend $500 – 1,000 to get the ball rolling. If you don’t have the money, you should save and do a bunch of leg work first on your own. Again, with the bootstrapping.

(This means you have to put what you love to do on hold, or hire out help.)

3. What are you doing already to promote what you have, if anything (website? Facebook page or group? speaking? workshops? readings at the library? church groups? MOPS? social media accounts? gathering an email list of fans?) (Be able to show what, if anything is already being done so it can be can ramped it up, or started if it hasn’t been.)

And what could you do, if you started? (write it down)

4. What connections do you have or people do you know who would help you get the word out? colleagues? teachers? librarians? leaders? church folks? groups, camps, and clubs? anyone famous or well connected (like to Focus on the Family, for example? ) People in tv, radio, bloggers, local newspapers, or journalists and writers to feature you?

5. What can you offer for free to build trust and gain a following?

That’s it!

…But, sometimes it’s overwhelming! If you’ve haven’t thought to ask these questions, you fall into the category of craft-person more that of “marketer” or “promotion and communications guru”…and that’s fine, but you’ll need help.

I can help. Contact me!