Tag: right

Like Jael, I got you so pegged

Don’t be tempted to …ahem… peg Jael as the Biblical forerunner of the fierce “Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling”. She was a nobody who cared for sheep and endured the harsh elements.

As a tent dweller of the Kenite clan, she was riffraff to the nth degree. (The spiffy clothing you may see her depicted in is just wishful thinking. A bath would be hard to come by, let alone silk fineries, and dainty hairstyling.)

The Biblical story of Jael is hardcore violence! (10 sec read here)

So-NEVER doubt this, Jael is one shrewd and formidable female; and she clobbers an expert of war, with her own violence, as a part of God’s plan.

She’s sharp, very sharp.

Here lies the mighty Warrior, Sisera…almost pinned down.

Could this be one instance (of many) where a Bible story may effect an impressionable mind?

 

Perhaps envision the scene following a Bible study at a female penitentiary … “Yo, ladies, are you ready to get your Jael on!? Wooo…” Okay, maybe not. But, I can totally see a Bible inspired video game for Christian families….rated T for Teen (of course)… that includes this scene. The object would be to get in the most spike poundings before the warrior wakes up. That’s completely obvious, right?

Incidentally, this story also proves how brilliantly somniferous warm milk can be. Note to self.

Most importantly, this story begs us to root for Jael, and everyone like her. She’s an impoverished foreigner. A diminutive herding woman. And she triumphs in a crucial battle to save a whole nation. Underdog doesn’t begin to describe her.

This isn’t just an astonishing battle tale, or reversal of fortune story, it’s a message of hope for all of us up against the odds. God gives us the strength to peg and conquer our obstacles. God’s character is shown in this and the many underdog stories in the Bible.

Literarily unheard of, this story is like no other. No other ancient literature in the world included women very much, let alone wrote them up as full- blown heroines. But, God captures his heart for us within this story of an unlikely woman who saves an entire people group from destruction.

Remember this:
Undoubtably, you have God’s camaraderie when the odds are against you, or when your foes or circumstance seems too great to overcome.

God has mercy for your “type,” and it is his joy to help you prevail. Keep your hope in the Lord, the Almighty King.

Do you ever feel like an underdog?
What would you like to pin and conquer?

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In Tribute to MLK

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is one of my favorite Christian figures of the 20th Century.

7:37 min of the Knock at Midnight sermon:
“He promised NEVER to leave me alone.”

Each year I try to post on something about his work and mission.
I refer you to my  previous tribute posts here and here.

These posts include his thoughts, quotes, a famous prayer, and an extended quote on “loving ones enemies”. All quite inspiring, so please enjoy them, as you remember this Christian brother who lived out his core Christian convictions on social justice, and maintained the highest level of ethical devotion.

To fix your mind on what is good, and right is counter-cultural. It’s much easier to get a laugh at someone else’s expense, to find something smug or snide to say, to look for the negative in circumstances or other people, and to grow cynical. But doing that changes us. It spiritually forms us into a malformation. Then our aim, and our work in this world is badly compromised and less effectual. MLK is a model for us to live out such ideals–even to die for them.

Today, co-opt with these thoughts. Thoughts close to this pastor and leader in the American Civil Rights movement–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr..
Ingest them and emulate them. Thank you for reading.

Philippians 4:8
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (NLT)


Also-American King James Version
Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

[Did you know] Mark Driscoll is Gay?

Rachel Evans is calling for a response to Marck Driscoll’s recent bullying of effeminate men, here: But I have to mention….doesn’t this sound a lot like an episode of GLEE?

Does this gay bully look like Mark Driscoll?
“macho man: Mark Driscoll”            Wait! Is that a flattering blouse?

Mark Driscoll is gay? Don’t kill the messenger…I didn’t come up with this.

You can find a pretty solid case HERE, compiled from his friend Don Miller, who–years ago–coined him, “the cussing pastor” in his best-selling book Blue Like Jazz. (When I say “case”…I mean Donald seems to refer to Driscoll, with some detail, right along with [other] male leaders associated with…well, gay scandals. Maybe it’s a connect-the-dots thing.)

Another person to recently point out Mark’s hyper (and perhaps suspicious) masculinity, is Brett McCracken, within the pages of his new book Hipster Christianity, (pages 103-105.)

  • “There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. Some emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up.” –Mark Driscoll [4]

  • (There’s a common theme of guy-on-guy fights/violence with Driscoll. You may remember he showed, the hot and sweaty brawl movie “Fight Club” as an official church event. Hum.)
Is Mark Driscoll’s Jesus Tough and Buff? 

Mark, if you’re reading this, you can stop over-doing it to throw us off track. Don and I both realize you’ve painted yourself into a corner, Mark. The gig is up, dude.

 

(A bit like gay twins?) Driscoll and Gay WWF wrestler “Giant Gonzales” (Both picts are just so creepy. Sorry about that.)

Nevertheless. IF Driscoll was gay, we would love him anyway. Right, everyone? Right?

There’s a punchline in here somewhere. Can you spot it?

Is Mark Driscoll too overtly macho, and (like recent pastors caught in self-created sexual hypocrisy -Eddie Long and Ted Haggard), too anti-gay to be straight? (This is where you start to realize how silly the whole topic is.)

Disclaimer:
Am I joking about Driscoll? Sure. Of course. I’m a humorist. (I’m upfront about that here at the blog.) And despite loads of circumstantial evidence, and the writing stylings of Don Miller, Mark’s certain proclivity could remain a mystery, much like Theodicy, or atonement theories. This is all probably just a loooong series of coincidences. No biggie. If Mark is gay, or tempted with homosexual thoughts or feelings, I’m sure we could trust that he’d just open up and tell us–straight out. Or, maybe, like his marriage book, he’ll hold out on telling us that he’s had some trouble until he writes a book on the topic. I”m honestly NOT worried about it. The point is, neither should any of us be!

Cue the “It’s Raining Men” ditty.

:)

Shame and wanting to poking out your own eye

There’s a feeling you can get, after you’ve done something horrible. It’s so bad, that you might consider poking your own eye out (if for nothing else than a viable distraction.)

My first job (besides babysitting) was as a hostess at Eat’n Park Family Restaurant. A woman about 10  years older transferred there. She had been a waitress for a long time (even a decorated one. Yes, Eat’n Park is special like that.) She also had the name “Lisa,” just like me. That’s about all the ingredients needed for good communication and lasting friendship, right? um. No.
Background:
Sometimes I’d goof off and crack jokes in passing with Lisa. No big deal. (If you know me, this is all highly typical behavior.)
WELL-
One day, like a stoke of non genius, it came into my head to wisecrack when I noticed Lisa had a blue pen scribble on her forearm. I noticed it was actually a very sloppily rendered mark of her own name. The “L” was super long on the bottom, and not in a cursive way. It was just odd. It struck me as humorous. I already knew she had a 4 year old daughter. Her little girl had probably been playing with her waitressing pen and wrote out her mom’s name all by herself. Or maybe Lisa had done it–for a joke, or because she was bored. So, feeling my comic Einstein vibe coming on me (which is inversely proportionate to my rational thought and good judgment), I said–rather flippantly, I might ad–“Hey, what’s that on your arm? Is that so you don’t forget your name?”

Sudden. Dead. Powerful stare.
Awkward pause. I could hear a spider near the salad bar blink.
Then I noticed she had a sort of sad “How could you, you freaking jerk?” look on her tired face. (I picked up on that because I’m really good at feeling people out!)
It was a tattoo.
A horrible one.
A mistake.
Perhaps a drunk boyfriend or trashed stepdad scrawled it there. Who knows. But whatever the story was, it was part of a painful past. A past she did not want thrown in her face by some stupid and insensitive quip from a dumb teenager.
My heart froze with panic. It’s the kind of panic where you start to smell yourself. A cold sweat mustache erupts on your lip usually, too
.
Would she stab me with a steak knife?
Plan to burn me “accidentally” with a scrod entrée platter? (Wicked hot, they are!)
I fumbled around, and got out, “um… hahah… I’m just kidding.” I was trying desperately to appear nonchalant. I considered whistling a tune to prove it.
Still, she just looked at me–steadily.
“I’m sorry,” I said, getting up the nerve. It felt like a blanket of shame washed over me. Self-loathing–all over the place.
She shook it off, and went back to work. From then on I tried to be extraordinary nice to her, in every way I could think of. I bused her tables, and got her refreshing beverages, and tried to be as pleasant, and positive as I could. She didn’t hold it against me, beyond a day or so.
Once, after a 10p.m.-5 a.m. shift when my dad failed to pick me up, she even drove me home in her weary beater of a car.
I still wonder about her.
It was poke-your-eye-out shame.
I’ll never forget it.

Have you ever had “inner death by shame”? (you can just answer yes or no, unless you want to be brave and tell your story)

Self-test: Is the Holy Spirit like a York Peppermint Patty?

 

taste the sensation

 

Self-test: Is the Holy Spirit like a York Peppermint Patty?

Some of you won’t remember the goofy York Peppermint Patty commercials of long ago, but thanks to the marvel of technology, you can view a couple retro ad pieces right now to either refresh your memory, or thank God you were not routinely subjected to such silliness.

After you watch the short video, have some fun and take this self-test to see how you score.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaVTrIjoqo4&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Self-test:
Answer true or false, and add up your scores.

1. When you hear the word “Holy Ghost” you get “shivers.” (You prefer the less weird  term “Holy Spirit.”)

2. Spiritual things are sometimes what you would call “spine-tingling”.

3. When eating minty candy, sometimes you feel a cool draft, or get a bit of a chill.

4. Watching shows like Ghost Hunters is fairly tempting.

5. You like to say “God bless you” when others sneeze–and now that you think of it, a dry and powerful sneeze seems practically other-worldly. (A wet one is just plain gross.)

6. If chocolate was served instead of bread at Communion, you would look forward to going to church more often.

7. The idea of dressing up as the Holy Ghost has never crossed your mind, yet you realize drinking some milk when eating chocolate makes sense.

8. If it were not sacrilegious, or highly odd, you could imagine the Holy Ghost (or Spirit) as a good choice for the pitchman for York Peppermint Patty and saying, “Get the (cool) sensation,” in a dry humor sort of way.

9. You can imagine Jesus eating and enjoying a York Peppermint Patty.

(Perhaps you can relate to this scenario: If you had two, and if he was physically there, you would give him one. If you had one, you would split it, but maybe you would have a brief conflict of conscience thinking of hiding it, or not mentioning it. After realizing that he would know anyways you would hope he wouldn’t mind if you kept the whole thing. Maybe you’d look at him in the eyes to check for a “knowing look,” after you averted eye contact for a little bit, first.)

10. You are finding that something simple like a York Peppermint Patty can somehow remind you of God, and yet make you a bit hungry for candy at the same time.

Scoring:

If you got more than 5 True answers you have made an irrevocable connection between a minty chocolate treat and one, or more, of the three persons of God. Use this connection wisely. It may help integrate your spirituality and draw you into a more intimate relationship with God, in everyday ways. On the other hand, you could get terribly fat filling a huge spiritual void with empty calories, and go to hell in the process.

Okay, I’m not really sure about that last part, but I do think something could go wrong in this whole setup, I’m just not completely sure what. And also, the test really isn’t scientific, in case you were wondering.

If you had fun, got a laugh, were the least bit amused, or even got mad, please tell a few people to drop by and visit to take the self-test for themselves. Then, they’ll get their own sensation.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

-Lisa, peppermint patty lover, God lover, and putting on the pounds with various chocolates.