Today, I’m featuring a returning guest, my friend, Ray Hollenbach: teacher, blogger, writer, former pastor, and now a facilitator of the Deeper Seminars. Ray trains leaders and any one interested in deepening their spiritual maturity and walk of faith in the Fruit of the Spirit in small group settings so lasting transformation is likely.
Included in the show notes are FREE downloads of Ray’s exercises for you (scroll to the bottom to get those). We hope you enjoy them. Be sure to get his powerful book Deeper Grace.
If you appreciate what you hear today, if you enjoy it or benefit from it at all, please remember that just a few dollars from you helps a lot.
AND Thanks for supporting the project of Spark My Muse through listening, reading the show notes, reviewing the show in iTunes, and sharing it with friends, too! You are awesome.
xo
~Lisa
NEW!
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INTRO TO THE EPS 26:
Melissa Wilson didn’t just survive mistreatment as a child, she worked to heal from it, redeem it, and establish a platform to help sufferers and advocate for those who are suffering now or wounded from the past.
Melissa converses with me about how she found healing and the joy of transforming her pain into a thriving website and podcast that shares stories of victory, triumph, and overcoming great odds.
Don’t let your past define you. Here are some ways you can move forward and even find a valuable mission in life.
Will you help support the show?
You can help me pay the bills by purchasing this useful and encouraging book!
(Already read it or feeling a bit more generous? Please use the donate button (see left column) to contribute to the show. Help me make awesome things for your ears to hear each week.Much Love & Thank you! ~L)
Shownotes for the Special “Ask Sparky” Episode: Responses to 5 Burning Questions
MIN
1:30
1. It’s hard to pray to God as Father when you’ve had a bad dad. What should I do?
• How do we think about God? (usually like a human person or institution)
• God is Spirit not an old white man in the sky with a long beard.
What adjectives will help you connect with the Being typically called “God”
4:00
Hebrew word for God is a description too (yahweh “I am” a verb) that was not used. Adonai was substituted and that simply means “Master/Lord” and is a term of respect.
4:30
It’s misguided to think that God can be contained or described well using a “Proper Noun”. God can’t be called a proper name/noun…like “Billy” (and that would make Jesus “Billy Jr.”).
Hebrew names are descriptive when referring to people (not how we use names to address people today).
5:00
YAHWEH (Hebrew word), means I AM (or “is”) and works like a verb denoting Presence an Love in Action. It defies typical proper names and descriptions.
5:50
2. On Forgiveness
“What should I do to forgive when I can’t forget?”
6:10
Forgiving is a continual process.
Thinking of forgiveness as transactional–a debt clearing mechanism. Be an accountant and don’t worry about your emotions being on the same page.
7:20
Remembering that you are not your thoughts.
8:00
What Justice is actually (Shalom). Making things right and reconciliation.
8:50
3. What to do about envying others (in this case writers in the field) and being jealous of their success.
9:15
Seeing the negative emotions as tools. Reframing them to use them to find our calling, gifts, and passions.
9:30
Not getting caught up in “should” and “oughts” and comparisons.
9:45
When you can say of your work, “Wow, I get to do this!” you can have enough gratitude to be comfortable with the success of others.
10:15
It’s common and normal to get feelings of jealousy. It’s only when the take over our hearts and mind do we need to reevaluate and recalibrate what we are doing and thinking.
11:00
Deciding that the options of other people and the opinions should have huge power is a choice we can change.
12:05
4. Getting over feeling guilt and shame that keeps resurfacing.
Daring Greatly Brene Brown (the difference between guilt and shame.
• Guilt is important so we can learn and correct and grow and become better people.
• Shame is a belief that something, un fixable, is wrong with you.
Shame whispers lies in your ears. Shame becomes a decision of who we are as person.
14:05
Being put to shame by parents and others.
14:50
A mistake isn’t part of who you are.
Redemption is always possible. You can start anew.
15:10
My caveat.
15:50
5. Church isn’t working for me anymore and I feel guilty leaving the church, but I don’t feel fed.
In the U.S. we often go to church as a consumers and look for what we can get out of it. Church can be piss poor.
17:00
Look for ways to give and minister and find connection in other ways.
18:00
For me, small groups were a starting point that lead me to seminary.
18:50
Bringing back the potluck and sharing life with people.
19:30
Sometimes we sense church isn’t “working” when meaningful connection is lacking.
20:30
“we” is better than “me”.
Thank you for listening and sharing the show with others. If you’ve gotten an enjoyment from Spark My Muse, come back every Wednesday for something new, or save your mental energy and subscribe!
BIO: Nicole Unice is on staff at Hope Church in Richmond, Virginia, and the author of the breakout book: “She’s Got Issues” which she wrote from her counseling and ministry experiences. The book produced and encouraged a refreshing and radical honesty that she’s built on in her new book “Brave Enough”.
Enjoy the Shownotes and links below and please share this with friends that you know CAN be “Brave Enough“. Thanks for listening!
#GetBraveEnough
xo
~Lisa
P.S. Would you like to get a special, cozy Spark My Muse t-shirt?
on the Richmond VA place and new midtown location.
1:30
Nicole’s podcasting experience (the Becoming Podcast) doing hundreds of episodes with her pastor doing 15 minutes shows for commuters.
Lisa asks: Is “campus” a Christian code word for mega church?
2:40
How she grew with Hope Church for 18 years, as they started out small in an elementary school “cafetorium”.
3;50
The “Youth Lodge” plans and the unique setting with wetlands and hills.
5:10
On the importance of Beauty, Setting, and Art in architecture and church building planning to evoke the imagination, inspire awe, and connect with the heart.
6:40
Collaborative workspace, and place where kids can do their homework and where people can enjoy the time away in a beautiful setting.
7:40
“artist come through the side door of the soul and preachers come through the front door.”
8:50
The history of the church and Christian tradition is one where the Church is source of beauty, wonder and connected to art because God is a the Creator.
9:40
Her first book: She’s Got Issues
6 main issues women (and men) face that can be a hinderance.
A rich relationship with God can come to a dead end as the ways we do life stop working.
12:00
How was it received? The #1 thing Nicole heard was, “You’re so honest.”
Why would honesty be such a revolution in Christianity?
12:40
She leaned into that for her next book “Brave Enough”
13:00
The story of how she got the title for the book:
To the question, “Do you think you can be brave?” Lucy Pevensie in the Chronicles of Narnia says, “I think I can be brave enough.”
14:35
Few women will self-identify as brave. [and not many men will either]
“After we identify the hinderances, what does it look like to walk forward in freedom?”
15:00
Brave Enoughis about Grace and its effects, inside and in action.
15:40
Nicole answering the question: Do men have the same problems in this area?
16:00
“Women hearing teaching from women is like hearing in your first language.”
16:30
Ways Nicole leads and teaches men.
17:00
on how women have to translate teaching from men into their “language” and context.
18:00
On how, similarly, Brené Brown was challenged (by a man) to include men in her writing and teaching. (Lisa)
18:40
How men and women have similar vulnerabilities though they might deal with them differently.
19:40
“up speak” tones in language in women and men revealing different insecurities. (Lisa)
21:00
Nuggets from the Brave Enough book:
How the ingredients mixed into something she didn’t expect. It follows a narrative “arch of the heart”. How we can be full and free and confident in life.
22:30
on why (inner) freedom is illusive for men and women.
On “Fake Grace” in our head. (the excuses we make or how we blame others). Inviting God/Jesus into those places.
24:10
We all (default) and go back to rules and laws and how to short circuit that pattern.
It’s about resetting the heart with a new spiritual reality.
25:00
Radical honesty about our ugly parts inside the heart.
25:30
Nicole’s Parable: The violently stopping of the elevator door…(and how it relates to our soul).
26:10
Open ourselves to God’s Presence and healing.
26:10
(Lisa) God uses what bothers us about other people is a mirror of what we don’t like in ourselves.
27:20
How our baggage works to impede our progress.
Brave Enough includes major parts on forgiveness
28:00
God’s breathing on us and giving us the mission of forgiveness, first.
Hey! Thanks for coming to the website. I’m thrilled at how well the show has been doing. Thanks for listening to Spark My Muse. I had to share this cool photo (below) with you. Yep, it’s from iTunes! I’m officially “popular” and YOU made that happen. Thank you!
One thing that is still pretty shabby is the iTunes reviews for the show. Can you help?
Just a few words of “I love the show” or “whoot whoot” (or what-have-you) would really help!
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Show notes –
Spark My Muse podcast: Episode 6 – The Skinny on Wine Spritzers and Friendship as Creative Fuel
Photo by Brett Bastello – Personal Creations (click for link)
Today’s episode covers the skinny on wine spritzers and also how friendship fuels our creative muse.
This episode is brought to you by the book Dog in the Gap 10 essays inspired by the life lessons learned while befriending with the family canine. Heart warming, full of wonderful photography and good humor. Click the links to learn more to get a copy.
The Bonus Edition is just a $1 more and it contains lots of extras and goodies.
——
What is a wine spritzer exactly and why now is a good time to make one?
First, what’s up with the word “spritzer”?
The word “spritzer” comes from the German spritzen “spatter, squirt, spray, sprinkle”.
(additional note: just saying it involves some spritzing, right?)
The wine sprizter is just a simple drink combination of chilled wine and something that sparkles, such as sparkling mineral water, club soda, or seltzer water.
It’s consumed more for refreshment than anything else!
(It’s easy on the liver.)
• Drinking wine in warm weather or in the hot sun is always a bad idea. The spritzer is a good choice for summer because of its lower alcohol content, less calories, and being less inexpensive than straight wine consumption. Serving them is a great a way for you or your guests to not drink too much before the hambergers are ready at your cookout.
Too much wine (or any alcohol) during the summer will dehydrate you and you can quickly feel tired or ill.
Spritzers are mixed in various ratios and sometimes fruit juice is added. The two most common are 50/50 or, 1/2 cup club soda to 1 cup of wine.
• The Spanish use red wine, fruit, and lemon soda. That sounds delicious!
I think wine or juice Spritzers are the go-to outdoor party beverage that provides a less expensive refreshing treat for outdoor entertaining and outdoor fun, sunny get-togethers, and bonding with friends. (They can be made without alcohol for teetotalers or children too–just skip the wine and add more fruit juice.)
• For parties, you can fill a punch bowl with the right ratios.
Some of my favorite wine spritzer recipes!
The Super Simple Spritzer
Just two ingredients:
6 ounces of a reasonably priced of white wine – or a blush wine–
plus 6 ounces of 7-Up (or try sprite or ginger ale).
Sublime Citrus Spritzer
2 lemon slices, 2 lime slices, 5 ice cubes.
4 ounces of your your favorite white wine and 2 ounces of lemon-lime seltzer.
Peach Dream Party Bowl Spritzer
6 quartered peaches and 2 tablespoons of honey.
Mix into a blender and puree. Place in a pitcher and chill for about two hours, then mix in a bottle of white wine, and stir well.
Finally, add a liter of cold sparkling water or seltzer.
Garnish with mint and extra slices of peach.
Citrus Ice Cube Party Pitcher Spritzer
2 lemons, zested
2 small oranges, zested (or 1 large orange, zested)
1 bottle white or blush wine
3 cups sparkling water
Directions:
Place the zest as a mixture into an empty ice cube tray, add water and freeze for 3 to 5 hours.
In a large pitcher, combine the wine and the sparkling water and then the citrus zest ice cubes.
Stir and serve.
White Wine and Fruity Sweet Party Spritzer
1 bottle of sweet white wine
3/4 cup white grape juice or apple juice
1 liter bottle desired-flavor low-calorie sparkling water, chilled.
(optional and delicious Assorted fresh fruits (such as raspberries, blackberries, pineapple, sliced kiwifruit, blueberries, lemon slices, lime slices, halved strawberries, or red grapes)
Directions
1 In a large punch bowl combine wine and grape juice.
Just before serving, slowly pour in sparkling water.
If desired, garnish individual servings with fruit. Makes 10 (6-ounce) servings
——
Friendship is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die.
Friendship, unlike cooperation, is unnecessary to human survival.
Friendship, like philosophy and art is one of the things that gives value to survival.
how friendship differs from the other three types of love by focusing on its central question: “Do you see the same truth.”
Anne Lamott
In the course of the years a close friendship will always reveal the shadow in the other as much as ourselves, to remain friends we must know the other and their difficulties and even their sins and encourage the best in them, not through critique but through addressing the better part of them, the leading creative edge of their incarnation, thus subtly discouraging what makes them smaller, less generous, less of themselves.
My essay:
Pertaining to sparking one’s muse. Good friends, that offer selflessly the balance of honesty and gentleness, toughness and acceptance, encouragement and motivation breath life into our lives and our art. Being social creatures, as humans, we crave social bonds even though they inevitably cause us pain at times. Isolated, for too long, we shrink into ourselves with self-delusion, self-absorption, unwarranted loathing and aggrandizement.
Aloneness is a dread for many or a craving for those misfit. And even those misfit hope, sometimes, to find someone else in the dark that might recognize him and name him and finally tell him he is well enough and valuable. Only in the mirror of friendship can we have solid footing and might be drawn out into our best selves. Erotic love has too much fire and entanglement for that. Agape love too much work and abdication. Brotherly love too much responsibility and duty. Only a soul friend can birth you into your actualization most purely.
Friends and confidants help us be continually born into the next stage of development. We risk with them and they with us and the synergy makes us stronger. At its best it is a fountain of grace sourced in Originator of Love and Goodness.
Do you have a question or do you have an idea for the show? Please let me know! :)
