kind Archives - Page 6 of 12 - Lisa Colón DeLay

Save-the-Date: Next Trip to Narnia

Here’s what some of the previous retreat-goers said about the experience:

To learn more or sign up, join the Retreat list click HERE.

THE STORY…

Suppose you found a place…like Narnia…a magical parallel place…

This happened to me, and the only way it makes sense to tell you about it is to tell you that the land of Narnia comes to mind.

I spotted no White Witch, but I’m certain that Aslan was on the move!

I keep going back and it keeps getting better.

I’ve tried to sketch out something of what it’s like with my words. My strings of syllables are full of adjectives and I start to gush and make a fool of myself.

These words and my intensions fall short. Maybe a photo will help, I think. No, not really.

I try to tell people about it and say “come and join me”. Several of my closest friends knew to trust me and come “in faith” and it turns out that you sort of “catch something” while you’re there that draws you back again and again.

Yes, I can say, it’ll be restful, or I can say, it’ll be refreshing, or life-changing, or amazing…and of course I sound a little crazy because I’m making such a big deal about it.

But, I hope it doesn’t seem so absurd.

When you are really thirsty, water sounds wonderful.

Yet, it’s only when you taste it that you are satisfied.

Maybe you have some kind of deeper thirst. Then come!

~ABOUT THIN PLACES~

A “thin place” is where you see this dominion of the kingdom of God come into clearer focus.

And dominion doesn’t refer to a location per se, or sometimes at all.

There, the world as you know it grows strangely dimmer and smaller. You notice a threshold that separates heaven and earth too much. It seems much thinner.

This thin place can even be manifest in a person.

When you are near him or her, you sense something greater at work in a richer and more powerful unseen reality. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know it’s real. There is weight there.

The epitome of that is, of course, the Son of God. Jesus was the thinnest place of all when he walked among us.He is our model.

But a thin place is a location too, right?

Yes, sometimes a you sense a thin place in a location that has been somehow, or intentionally, consecrated and set apart for apprehending the deeper realities of existence. A house of worship. A garden. A home where love abides. A bookstore. A mountain perch. A bench at the beach. Everyone has probably felt a thin place, at some point.

(If you have, let me know where in the comments section)

The retreat center were I go at least 3-5 times a year is one such thin place. If you haven’t gone to a place like this, it’s nearly impossible to convince you that being there, just being, will improve your life.

I’m left “pitching the benefits” to you, like a giddy salesgirl, because conveying the actual experience is so obtuse and ethereal.

Postcards, paper ones or verbal ones, never really share a place properly.

I have a plan to return soon
Your story will unfold in new ways there.

I’ll be the guide. I’ll show you the grounds and acquaint you with the places for quiet reflection and rejuvenation, and provide you with some devotional reading and prayer material to guide your time, if you want the structure. I’ll get you started and you’ll have nothing else to do but enjoy yourself.

Are you thirsty?

We’ll meet for a (provided) hot lunch at 12:30, than after we will “gather the graces” we’ve been given, and leave for home when the time seems right. It could be the half day that changes your life. The cost is a tiny $15.

Let me know if you’re interested by signing up HERE, and I’ll prepare a spot for you and send details.

To be on the update list, click HERE.

Prayer of Communal Lament: For Franklin Regional HS

My small hometown–Murrysville, PA–is undergoing a time of shock and pain because of the Alex Hribal’s attack. Two steak knives and a blood bath. Many heroes were made, but the event was and is traumatic–rocking the community to its core.

My young niece (the daughter of my brother’s who is a Franklin Regional Alumnus from the 1990s) was not allowed to attend her classes at the elementary building at Franklin Regional and her street shut down as FBI, State Police, and legions of first responders, media, and others have swarmed the scene.

My family’s church, the church were I was married, mourns as an entire community and feels trauma and pain deeply because several from their youth group teen were wounded. Some of them have undergone surgery.

All are expected to survive. Praise be to God for that grace.

It would be easy to say this youth of 16 years old is a monster, but students attest that he was very nice. Answers for why it all happened are left unanswered at this time.

In these times, the community of faith raises its voice in communal lament. We are comforted by each other and by a good God who is with us in our pain.

Sadly, violence has become a normal occurrence in school settings… and it may be your hometown that suffers next. But, parish the thought!

If not that, than surely you and your community will encounter pain and loss.

For that, here are some thoughts on Communal Lament.

1. About 1/3 of the Psalms are songs of lament. They are meant to be sung as prayers. They can be read with that in mind.

2. God invites us to cry out in our pain, not to suppress it, or put on a “happy face”. That kind of honesty dignifies our feelings and helps us feel our emotions fully, so we can move toward healing.

3. Communal laments are always meant to be expressed in the context of ongoing faith and trust in God.

4. Our laments (communal and individual) are a normal response to the pain and loss of life and living; they help us experience greater bonds of community and healing from God.

5. Laments of the psalms are unvarnished. That is an important quality to understand. They depict the anguish, desperation, pain, and messy feelings that often smack of ill-intension toward enemies and abusers, in parts. They may seem to condone retaliatory violence. But, that’s not the end of the story (song)…

6. If the reader or hearer pays close attention, she or he will notice each song ends in hope and trust in the Lord. This is key to the communal lament. All is left in God’s hands.

(In this way, our burdens lift and our faith grows.)

7. Communal laments are a cry from a whole group for Justice (things to be put to rights) and this ultimately necessitates the elements of…

• Mercy

• Forgiveness

• Reconciliation

• Restoration

• Redemption

Here is a resource on the types and categories of Psalms. May they be of comfort to you.

Join with your community and raise your voices in lament when your hearts are heavy with sadness, pain, and grief.

For your reflection:

Psalm 63

A psalm of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.

1 O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.

6 I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
7 Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.

9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.
They will go down into the depths of the earth.
10 They will die by the sword
and become the food of jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God.
All who trust in him will praise him,
while liars will be silenced.

Non Profit: RE-invented as “For Purpose”

When you tell someone that you work for a non profit, (or a ministry, or a charity…)

You often get one of three reactions:

1. A strange and muted pity.

Some times this is accompanied by slow nodding and maybe an awkward silence and change of subject, or some refer to some one they know who sort of does the same sort of thing (awkward empathy).

“Oh, yeah, my uncle was a pastor. He died unappreciated and penniless.”

2. A bemused reaction, “Oh, okay. How…nice.”

3. A flummoxed stare.

They think something went wrong.

Or, that you must a be a bleeding heart, or maybe you are just confused about what you really want to do.

“Oh, I thought you were…um… (smart and industrious)…but, you can’t get paid much, right?”

Sadly, I had to leave a non-profit graduate school as the Director of Communications because I needed to pay bills.

I worked with the nicest group of people I’ve ever worked with. We did exciting and transformative things that make the world a better place. In the end though, my family needed, literally, a roof over our heads (lots of leaking in the attic). I had no choice but to look for work to meet that pressing need.

Strangely, I’ve sensed in all the non-profits I’ve worked with, so far, that there is going idea was that you have to give up something to be there. The rules are different and you just have to suck it up and put big girl pants on, and such.

You have to be okay with being very poorly compensated.

Now, it isn’t for lack of will to do it. The funding (really-the lack of funding) just can’t support something otherwise. However, there is something more. A kind of unconscious (maybe?) communal ascension to thinking is cemented way that makes change, improvement, and sometimes even success difficult.

It’s a disabling mindset, really.

We can get stuck is a false conundrum that subtly discredits the fulfilling work being done because it it conversely attached to a conflicting paradigm that claims profit = success. By definition then, non-profit = non-success.

(Any pockets of moralizing that all the hard work is to be for treasures in heaven one day, hardly makes it easier.)

I wonder if there is a better way.

Adam Braun thinks so. He gets to a great point: We shouldn’t start labeling ourselves as failures. We shouldn’t be apologizing for doing awesome things in the world asa 501C status.
(Have you ever done the old……”Oh, yeah, we’re a non profit.” …as eyes shift downward in shame…?).

The truth is…

Being centered on a purpose rather than existing for a profit is the most important sort of work on the planet.

The good news is that certain business models can be infused to make the whole system more successful. That’s how Adam set up “Pencils for Promise” **(click on Adam’s photo to get to his website…but, wait…just a minute more)**.

I love what how he describes for-purpose organizations as a places…

“where idealism meets acumen.”

adambraun

How great to see this important shift happening. I have GREAT hope in Millenials!

I look forward to infusing both purpose and profit into what I’m doing. Who says they have to be in silos!?

For me, it started with a passion project: the book I created with Doug Jackson in August (2013). Some proceeds are earmarked for 2 -for purpose- groups that care for dogs and cats.

The most exciting thing I’m involved with now is the new resource that keeps the underdogs (but not canines) in mind and offers a high Return of Investment (ROI).

The knowledge gained translates quickly into success (be that revenue, exposure, or impact).

The non profit (for PURPOSE) organizations are the ones with such heart. I want them to succeed.

If you are interested, click HERE.
Read what others are saying about it.

Have YOU ever worked for a ministry or other kind of non profit?
What was the mindset like?

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The “Praying for Enemies” Misconception

Remember the Sermon on the Mount?

It’s the 4 chapters ( Click to read Matthew Chapters 4-7 ) where Jesus lays out this upside down, counter-intuitive foundation for the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. He shows how God’s ways don’t look like our ways. It’s a recapitulation of the law of Moses that was warped by God’s people over time and needed to be righted.

Disciples of Christ try to get this passage into their DNA and live it out. While many claim to be Christians few really follow or even grasp the framework Jesus lays out for the Kingdom. Maybe it’s too challenging.

In Matthew 5 Jesus covers the very unpopular idea of not hating our enemies.

• We like to side with people we agree with.

• We like to make sure people know where we stand and what we oppose.

• We love our own

(Much like today, the prevailing thought at the time was that your kin, tribe, or people group are your neighbors and you should love them. Everyone else? They could be treated like enemies. Jesus stresses that our enemies are our neighbors too and later he uses the parable of the Good Samaritan to make his point about what love and following God really looks like.)

But, back to hating our enemies…

(quote blocks cover Mathew 5:43-48)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighborⁱ and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.

Loving our enemies means blessing them. Blessing our enemies means we enrich their lives.

But, what about the prayer part?

There’s a common misunderstanding that this verse implies that we should pray for blessing for our enemies, or pray that good things happen to our enemies, or perhaps the most common…we should pray that they will change.

(That’s one I’ve done quite a bit!)

Jesus’ point is different.

He’s not suggesting that we pray for circumstances to change or for our enemy to change, but that’s just what we do, isn’t it?

No. The point is that our enemies and the persecution works to change us into children of God, when we do as Jesus would do.

What praying “for them” means is that we are praying for them to be our teachers. We are praying for us. The trying experience shows us the potential to take on the nature of God. A nature that is so radically different than ours.

God’s ways are the ways of love.

• What does that mean?

It becomes more obvious as Jesus continues the thought and tells us something about God and his character.

How good is God? Thoroughly. Or we could say “perfectly good”.

In fact, he is so unsparingly generous in his goodness that…

He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Huh? That seems odd. He does good to bad people. . .

We think of justice as righting wrongs usually by giving someone a form of evil or payback for their evil, and rewarding good with more good. We like liking those who like us and we like punishing or casting out those we don’t like.

For instance, in two minutes on Facebook and you’ll see demarcation lines drawn. Outsiders and insiders. Good and bad. Idiots and smart.

We assume that praying for them (to change) is the godly option …

(because we are actually tempted to do something really nasty and let them have it…but, gosh, we are holding our selves back, you know, because of trying to be godly and such).

The godly thing to do is to think and act through the framework of love as our heavenly Father would.

This has nothing to do with feeling warm fuzzies or giving out hugs. It’s about fundamental fairness, as God defines it.

It’s about a shift is perspective.

Jesus tackles that next:

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?

So what should we do instead? Jesus says…

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

**Don’t trip over the perfection part.**

The point of the statement is to show how God is thoroughly good and also quite different in his ways than you and me. Be like God.

Being like the good Father from heaven is the true aim. This portion of Matthew 5 isn’t truly centered on what to do about our enemies. Weird, right?

It’s about transforming our thinking and our ways into Kingdom ways.

(That’s what all of the Sermon on the Mount to geared toward.)

The more good and loving we are, (even to those who are unlike us, or who hate and mistreat us), the more we are like children of God and children of his kingdom (dominion).

The contention Jesus makes is that God doesn’t play favorites.

Most people don’t like this part and don’t truly go along with it. We do gymnastics to find some useable loopholes or other verses to avoid the this part, because we define ourself by who our favorites are.

Why doesn’t God play favorites?

Because he really loves us. It is the very nature of God, as defined and modeled by Jesus.

Evil is redeemed through generosity, forgiveness, and love.

Sounds crazy, of course, but we see this happen all the time.

• Remember the story of Officer Jeremy Henwood who bought a child a happy meal just a few minutes before he was violently gunned down in a random attack (and his good deed was caught on video)?

• Or the woman from Rwanda who’s only son was violently murdered. She not only visited the young man who killed him and visited him in prison, but later adopted him and became his mother when he had no place to go.

This stories make us want to be better people through just hearing the story!

• Think of Jesus dying for his enemies.

• Think about how true forgiveness makes things new.

Because we let the person off?

No.

It’s because we have transformed.

We stopped letting the offense trap and define us.

The next time you think about “praying for your enemies” remember:

• You are praying for you.

• You are praying for your mindset to change about what is happening.

• You are practicing being a child of God.

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Supercharge Your Message with these 3 Secret Powers

Robert was a guy who wanted something. You could tell.

He wanted what a lot of people want. He wanted his idea out there. He wanted to get noticed and get recognized and make a better living. As an accomplished amateur guitarist he loved music and created a service focused at musicians. But, he couldn’t seem to get much traction.

After looking at his business and his marketing efforts I noticed something.
It was just below the surface but it tainted just about every Robert did.

Stinginess.

I didn’t come right out and tell him this, “Hey, friend, you’re stingy. People hate that. It’s like client repellant.” But, I did ask him a few questions and he stumbled onto the conclusion himself.

They were these 2 transformative questions:

1. What are your doing out of pure kindness to your target group?
(What are doing to simply serve this group, without hoping for or gunning for something in return?)

2. Are you empathizing fully with your group and their needs?
( What are their biggest needs and how does that make you want to respond? What will you do about it?)

A big shift happened. A light in a dark room moment.
(That’s what I LOVE about good questions. They shift things.)

It was like a wall broke down for him. He started thinking. Really thinking. Then he starting looking through a new window (perspective & worldview). New options and possibilities came into view. Discouragement vanished.

Instead of being centered on scarcity and never having enough (money, clients, opportunities, options), Robert started remembering how much good he could do.

Doing good felt good. Soon, it actually made him a better person for it. This new spirit didn’t extend to just clients, but his friends and family benefitted as well.

The new generosity of spirit made all the difference.

His empathy supercharged his efforts.

His message got out better this way.

Here’s what happened:
He started offering some of his services for free, no strings attached. This was valuable. Several musicians caught on and passed along his information. One of those leads provided consistent income almost right away. Then he reached out to a few local non profit groups and gave them some great work for free. They gave him some positive public testimonials and a few direct referrals. (He wasn’t helping them so they could help him in return, but after he gave of himself so generously, they wanted to help him out.)

His old message came off like this: “I have something and you need it. You should want this.”

Result? Dead ends and closed spirits.

His new message consisted of actions that worked like a megaphone. They said, “I’ll come along side you. Everything will be fine. I got this. No worries.”

People started searching him out. He didn’t have to work as hard to be noticed because his actions were secret super powers.

• Empathy

• Kindness

• Generosity

It drew plenty of attention. The right kind of attention. People were happy to pay him because they saw more value in his service. The stingy people that didn’t want to fork over any money for the value he brought them faded into the background. The more he invested and gave to the 80-90% of the folks that valued him, the better things got.

CONCLUSION:

Remember your Secret Super Powers.

If you’ve hit a wall with a project there’s a simple fix: If promotion, marketing, exposure, or getting your message out has stalled in any way, revisit your levels of 1. empathy, 2. no-strings-attached-kindness, and 3. generosity.

Reinstitute a lot of that back into your efforts, let go of the wheel, and see what happens. These secret super powers only work best if you put your true heart into it and live it out fully.

They are fertile things that birth the same spirit and goodness back to you.

Now some questions for you…

What message are you trying to get out right now?

(A project, a book, an album, a class, a service, a product, etc.)

What’s a way you can be more empathic and generous?
(In that spirit, let this be your first bit of exposure. You can share that here, if you’d like.)

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Thanks for visiting and thanks for being awesome.

-L